


101 Badgers

by BohemianBeth



Series: Queen Disney Mashups! [3]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Badgers, Disney, F/M, Fluff, Inspired by 101 Dalmatians, Plot Twist, freddie is cruella
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BohemianBeth/pseuds/BohemianBeth
Summary: Freddie wants to use Brian's badgers in his latest fashion line, but Brian won't stand for it.Or101 Dalmatians Queen AU.





	101 Badgers

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone remember my quest to write a whole bunch of Queen Disney mashups? Ha ha ha. Yeah, writing these stories are actually harder than you think even though combining my two favorite things in the world (Queen and Disney) seemed like a good idea at the time. It might just be easier to write these all as one-shots like the Princess and the Frog one (Just One Kiss). So here's a cute little thing about 101 Dalmatians. Sorry no slashes in this one except Brian and Anita. In fact, this might just be the first thing I've ever written where romance isn't the focus at all which makes sense considering the source material. Also there's no swear words, and it's written in 3rd person for once. Who are you and what did you do to Beth? Anyway, enjoy!

Brian May was an accomplished astrophysicist who lived in a large manor in London with his lovely wife, actress Anita Dobson. Their backyard was home to a family of friendly badgers and many other animals who they kept safe from hunters and poachers in the local area. However, Brian loved the badgers the most, and would do anything to stop them from getting hurt.

Anita was most famous for her role in the BBC soap opera EastEnders, and was gaining a lot of notoriety for it. Still, it came as quite a shock for both her and Brian when she received a phone call from the legendary Freddie Mercury, founder of the Mr. Fahrenheit clothing line. Sold in department stores around the world and constantly featured in prominent fashion magazines, Mr. Fahrenheit wasn't just the biggest apparel brand in England, it was the biggest in the world.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Anita cried when she heard the voice introducing himself as the one and only on the other end. "Why would _the _Freddie Mercury be calling me?"

"I've seen your work on EastEnders, darling. I do love a good soap opera. Seeing how grand you looked on a television screen did get me thinking that you should do some modeling for me. How would you like to be featured in the next issue of Vogue wearing one of my new fur coat designs? It is wonderful publicity for both of us. Although I don't need the publicity. I already have fame and fortune and everything that goes with it, so it will mostly benefit you. What do you say, darling?"

"I say it's an honor, Mr. Mercury! I can't believe this is happening!" Anita squealed. They arranged a meeting time and date to further discuss details. "Thank you again, Mr. Mercury."

"Please call me Freddie, darling. I'll be seeing you very soon."

Anita ran out to the backyard to tell her husband the good news. Brian was, of course, seated on the hammock with a telescope staring up at the glimmering starry sky. A badger rested on his lap, and a hedgehog was nestled in his curly mane of hair.

"Brian, you won't believe it! Freddie Mercury wants me to model for him!"

"Mercury." Brian nodded. "Mmhmm. You can't get a good look at it with the Earth's alignment tonight, but Venus is pretty visible."

Anita rolled her eyes, and lowered the telescope away from his eyes. "Freddie Mercury." She repeated slowly. "The famous fashion designer. He's coming here tomorrow at half past six to meet with me and talk about a modeling opportunity. Isn't that great?"

"Freddie Mercury from Mr. Fahrenheit? That's unbelievable! I am so excited for you, dear." Brian proclaimed.

"I'm going to featured in Vogue!" Anita shouted, jumping up and down with joy.

"Did you hear that, Lulu?" Brian smiled down at the badger in his lap. "Your mum is going to be the prettiest model out there!"

"Oh, Brian, you flirt!"

***

Freddie was supposed to arrive at half past six, but he came at seven, keeping Brian and Anita hanging round. The latest Rolls-Royce model looking shinier than ever pulled up to their home. An angelic man with long blonde locks and bright blue eyes stepped out of the drivers' seat. Out of the backseat came a sweet looking boy with flowing, frizzy reddish-brown hair and the cutest gap-toothed smile. Finally, a majestic exotic man with feathery black hair and mysteriously sexy dark eyes glided out of the passengers' seat. He was wearing a fluffy fur coat and was brandishing a cigarette.

"Anita, darling!" Freddie proclaimed, "It is so good to finally meet you. And you must be Dr. Brian May. I hear your dissertation on the cosmos is fascinating!"

"Thank you!" Brian said, shaking his hand.

"I wouldn't know if it truly is fascinating because I haven't read it." He admitted with a laugh. "Anyway, these are my right-hand men. Roger, my chauffeur and COO," Freddie made a wild gesture to the blond, smoke swirling from his cigarette, "And John, my personal assistant and CFO, but everybody just calls him Deaky." John ducked out the way to avoid the butt of Freddie's cigarette as he introduced him.

"Well it's an honor, Freddie. I just love all your designs." Anita said.

"Of course you do, darling. Now let's get started talking about the--Excuse me, can I help you?" One of the badgers positioned itself by Freddie's feet and stared up at him cutely. "Well, aren't you a sweetheart." The fashionista cooed. As he leaned down to pet the badger, she mischievously used her teeth to remove Freddie's slipper and run off with it. "I've lost my shoe!" He bellowed dramatically.

"Like Cinderella?" Deaky quipped as Roger laughed.

Freddie only scoffed and pouted not seeing the humor in the situation. "She's just being playful. Badgers can be silly sometimes. They're such magnificent creatures." Brian said.

"Yes, yes, very beautiful. They would look lovely on a coat. Seriously though, don't just stand there. Someone get me my shoe back!" Freddie remarked. 

Brian sighed and chased after the badger. "Lulu!" He called. "Lulu! Be a good girl and give our guest his shoe back." Sure enough, Lulu obliged and dropped the shoe from her mouth.

"Here you go." Brian returned it to his rightful owner.

Freddie tapped his foot impatiently, snapping his fingers at Brian. "You can't be serious." Brian said. "Do, do, do!" Freddie exclaimed. "I never tie my own shoelace, never!" So, the next thing Brian knew, he was putting Freddie's slipper back on and tying the laces for him.

"You sure do have a lot of badgers living here." Freddie noted the furry faces poking out from holes in the ground. "Are any of them for sale?"

Brian thought he had misheard Freddie's request. "I beg your pardon?"

"Your badgers. Name your price, May." He stated bluntly.

Brian looked down at sweet little Lulu with concern. What could Freddie ever want with these badgers? Surely, nothing righteous. The thought made Brian's stomach churn. "I don't understand." He choked.

"I believe Freddie is trying to negotiate a price to purchase the badgers from you." Deaky blurted.

"Thank you, Deaky, darling. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. So do you have an offer for me, Brian?"

It certainly wasn't the odor coming from Freddie's cigarette that made Brian feel sick. "What will you do with the badgers?"

"Why, I'm going to use them in my next clothing line. It'll be simply fabulous! Don't you think, Brian? Now tell me a number and I'll pay it on the spot."

"NO!" Brian shouted in horror.

Freddie was taken aback. "There's no need to raise your voice like that, darling."

"Get out!" Brian yelled.

"Honey, I think you're overreacting." Anita said.

"No I'm not! Get out of my house right now!" Brian demanded.

"You're going to regret this." Freddie warned. "Roger, darling, take us home. The modeling deal is off."

"You really messed up." Roger told Brian. "I don't envy you. I think your wife may just bury you in this backyard in one of the badger holes."

"Sorry it didn't work out." Deaky said.

Just like that, the trio took off in the Rolls-Royce with Roger racing down the street clearly not abiding by the speed limit.

"Brian, how could you?" Anita cried. "You know how much this deal meant to me!"

"It's not worth the life our badgers. Every life is precious and priceless. That Mr. Mercury or should I say Mr. Bad Guy has no regard for the harm he's causing these creatures." Brian didn't even want to think about the possibility of any animal, let alone a badger, being skinned or killed to make a luxury clothing line,

"If you love badgers so much why don't you sleep on the couch with them tonight instead of the bed with me?" Anita said sternly.

Roger was right. Brian found himself in deep trouble. Still he stood his ground because he knew he was right. Freddie Mercury was death on two legs tearing badgers apart.

***

A few days later, Brian came home to an empty house. Not only was his wife missing, but the badgers also seemed to have disappeared. There was no sign of them in the backyard only the occasional fox prowling the premises and hedgehog popping out of the would-be badger holes. "Anita?" Brian called, his voice echoing across the halls. No answer. Where could she be? And why were the badgers absent as well?

At last Brian uncovered a clue: a note placed on the mantel.

_Bri,_   
_Freddie called to apologize and invited me over for tea at Garden Lodge. He told me to bring Lulu and the other badgers, so I did. We'll be home in time for super._   
_With love,_   
_Anita_

"How could she be daft enough to allow the badgers anywhere near that monster!" Brian cried. He loved his wife, but right now he was seriously questioning her decision making skills.

In a frantic rush, Brian arrived at Mercury's manor Garden Lodge as quickly as possible. He banged on the door. "Mercury, open up!" He shouted.

Deaky opened the door and greeted him kindly. "Hello, Brian it's good to see you again."

"Where are the badgers? Did he hurt them? Are they alright? Am I too late?" Tears prickled in Brian's eyes at the implication of what wicked things Freddie could be up to.

Then he saw his wife, Anita wearing a coat with a gorgeous photorealistic design of a badger prominent on the back. Meanwhile Roger was holding Lulu up while Freddie sat behind a canvas deep in concentration. Was he painting a picture of her? She didn't seem to be hurt at all. The other badgers were scurried around the room playing with toys that appeared to be made for cats but that didn't hinder them in the slightest. They were still having a good time playing and roaming around the manor. Freddie looked up from his painting which appeared to be concept art for socks with tiny badger polka dots.

Anita twirled around in her coat. "Don't you just love this, Brian? I'm so lucky Freddie is letting me be the model for his new badger themed clothing line."

"What do you make of all this, darling?" Freddie inquired. "They're your badgers and you seem to be the expert. It would be nice to have your stamp of approval."

Brian blinked taking in all the sights trying to wrap his head around all of this. He was left feeling thoroughly confused. "So you're not harming them?"

Freddie gasped. "Goodness no! I could never hurt an animal. Who in the world would give you that idea? All of my designs are vegan using the very finest of synthetic materials that don't come from our furry friends. What did you take me for, darling? I'm not Cruella De Vil!"

Then Brian was certain that Freddie was no threat when a cat scampered in from the garden outside and he completely lost his mind. "Delilah!" He squealed. "I'm so glad you're here to meet our new badger friends. How was your morning nap in the sun? Are the other cats still trampling in the flowers out there? I doubt Jim can stay mad at them for very long, besides I think he rather enjoys planting new flowers. Don't you think, Delilah?"

"_Meow!"_

Freddie clutched his heart, a wide grin on his face. "You are the sweetest little thing, darling."

Brian felt nauseated because of his unfair misjudgment. Sure, Freddie acted spoiled and conceited, but he had a good heart. "I owe you an apology. I really thought you were going to do horrible things to my badgers."

"I suppose I don't blame you. There are other designers who condone inhumane things done to animals for profit. I should have been more specific in my intentions. I only wanted to use your badgers as models for my designs. Going behind your back and having your wife bring them here probably wasn't the wisest idea either, but look at the results!" Freddie gestured to the wide array of badger themed paraphernalia he was working on. 

"I do rather like this hat." Brian picked the hat off the table. The bottom was brown with a painted design reminiscent of soil made to look like a badger hole, and a badger face sewn out of cloth and cotton was popping out of the top. 

"That would look adorable on you if you can manage it get it over that mop of hair on your head!" Freddie chuckled. "Please try it on. I'm dying to see it on someone!" 

From there, Brian spent the rest of the afternoon, having his own mini fashion show. Freddie even ordered Deaky to take some pictures of him holding his badgers while wearing all the different outfits and accessories. Brian always figured he'd leave the modeling and this sort of stuff to his actress wife, but he had to admit, he was finding the experience kind of fun. 

"You must come again and bring your badgers. The cats will likely want another playdate. They seemed to get along so well." Freddie said. 

"They do." Brian laughed as he observed Lulu and Oscar playing peekaboo together with the curtains. 

The cats abided Freddie's call when he told them a tasty snack was on the way. Lily was the last one to say goodbye to the badgers, but eventually she scampered away to her food bowl. Brian and Anita gathered the badgers and said their farewells. 

***

"I don't believe this!" Anita cried. "Brian, get over here! You need to see this!"

Brian rushed downstairs to see what was going on. He gasped when Anita helped up the cover of the latest issue of Vogue. Instead of the EastEnders star smiling while wearing a dress with an embroidered badger, it was the astrophysicist sporting a smart look in a sharp blazer with an embroidered badger and matching badger tie. It was one of the many pictures Deaky had taken of him. _'Dr. Brian May shows his love of badgers in style!' _

After the initial shock of seeing himself on the cover instead of Anita, Brian took in the positive aspects of Freddie's decision. '_Mercury will donate a fair portion of all profits received from the new badger line to May's Save Me Foundation dedicated to helping wilding life such as badgers.' _

"You still think that man is death on two legs?" Anita asked. 

"No, I don't. But I do I think he's managed to make a supersonic man out of me." Brian replied. 

**Author's Note:**

> Did you really think I could make Freddie the villain? What do you think? Pretty wholesome. Was the plot twist expected or unexpected? Comments are appreciated. Until next time, folks!
> 
> -Beth


End file.
